Ups and Downs

I've had a lot going on lately since my work is starting to pick up (although the end of this past week was extremely slow since most people were in the States for a 4H conference) and I seem to have nonstop plans. I didn't imagine this being an issue since I usually love keeping myself absurdly busy but I am still in my adjustment period (as much as I dont like to think so) and it:s caused me some exhaustion this past week.

Last saturday was my first moku hanga class which proved to be a bit frustrating since the teacher can:t speak any english and spent a lot of time trying to explain to me the basic ideas of printmaking, which i understand but couldn:t express to him. But it was the first class so i hope that in future classes he will realise that i know more than i am able to express.

Sunday was a bit unusual since I was asked to help out with a Year Long Guidence meeting in Shinjuku on my day off. I was looking forward to going all week and it didn:t at all seem like it would be a problem for me to work. In fact, when I got there...I found that I hardly did anything at all. I think the purpose of having me there was to show all the prospect YL students who I was so that they recognise me when they come in for their English interview with me. I sat in the back sketching the whole time. I had a bit of a headache and was a little tired as well, but i figured it was just because i had been listening to nonstop japanese all day and because i woke up kind of early that morning. As the meeting ended I got up and wandered around as people started slowly filing out. THe room was packed full of Japanese High school students and for some reason, this made me increadibly nervous, as if i had been thrown back into the akwardness of being a new kid in a junior high cafeteria. I found a couple people that I recognised and I said hi but that was about it. The students are very shy which in tern, makes me shy as well.

I went out into the hallway to find one of my coworkers who had met me at shinjuku station and took me to the building we were in and I had assumed she was going to be taking me back to the station since I only had a vauge idea of how to get back. SHe said she was busy so she found another person to take me to the staion, but they were also busy so Yunkery (another person at my work) said she would take me, but then said she was busy and that another set of people would take me. For some reason I felt a rush of tears come flying up and I hurried to the bathroom but the more you try to hide crying, the worse it gets. I composed myself in the bathroom only to break down again infront of like 15 people. I wasn:t upset about who would take me to shinjuku station, infact...i probably coul dhave mannaged on my own but I wanted to walk with someone familiar, talk with them, before going back home. There was now specific reason for me to cry besides the fact that I haven:t cried since I left the US. It just happened to be at the wrong place and the wrong time.

But the next day, I felt better than ever (despite feeling slightly embarassed). I talked with a local broccoli/cauliflower farmer on monday. Tuesday i went to an elementary school and got to play with 2nd graders up to 4th graders. On wednesday I took a day off for the day I worked on sunday and my host mom and i got a lot done. We went to her bank and I opened up an account, we went to a really awesome art museum in Ueno, I bought a japanese cell phone (it:s so rad.) and finished the day with a big ol plate of yakisoba (sooo yummy). Thursday I went shopping on my own and had a conversation with on eof the sales persons as she suggested different items that would look good on me (shopping in japan is a nightmare for my body type). I also started calling year long students who are staying in japan from other countries. It was really hard since speaking in japanese in person is hard enough but not being able to use gestures and talking to someone else who is also learning japanese proves to be a challenge. but i could stick a few english words in to help. friday was a really slow day at work but i went to an art museum after and when i got home called another student and then uploaded music to my cell phone.

my routine makes me pretty tired, and some days feel like they last forever. In the morning I wake up at 7:30. I get dressed, wash my face, put make up on, make and breakfast and (TRY) to make my obento (lunchbox)....all before 8:35 which is when I need to be stepping out of the door. I usually walk to the station (although i enjoy riding a bike to the station on nice days) which takes about 15 minutes. The whole train part of my commute is different every day. SOme days i get on the wrong train and have to switch around, some days i get on the right train but for some reason doesn:t stop where its supposed to, some days i:m in totally stuffed trains (thursday was the WORST i got into the train car on the Yamanote line closest to my exit and i felt like my insides were being crushed...sooo packed) But WHEN i get to shibuya station ihave another 20 minute walk through crowded sidwalks to get to work. and that:s just one way.

I do my best to stay positive though despite how difficult it is to wake up some mornings.This weekend I:m taking my freetime to update this blog and then tomorrow i will dedicate myself to drawing and working on my woodblocks. i hope to feel revitalised afterwards. But I*m doing well. My cowerkers and host family are awesome so I think its just because I:m still getting used to my routine. little by little...little by little.....

anyway, check my flickr, and email me your addresses!!!

jessrobinson.art@gmail.com

thanks!
ja ne

Jess